"Come back here, you thief!"

"Charlie, what are you doing?"

"Darn it. What's the matter with poppa Oswald?"

"It's an old cardinal proverb-- never pay for anything you can steal. Heh, heh!"

"1. How long does it take an oyster to produce a pearl?"

"Mother: "Jim, did you water the rubber plant, dear?"

"That a test has proven a cucumber to be 20° cooler inside than out?"